stress management | Amber Hawken

control is overrated

Why Being In Control Is Overrated | Amber Hawken | Dip. Mindfulness CBT

What stays matters. What matters stays. This is your permission slip to chill. Love,

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Posted on May 15, 2018 by Amber

Articles, entrepenuer, Holistic Health, Mindset, Self Awareness, Self Love, spirituality, success

awareness, chill, control, emotional mastery, how to chill, let go, release, stress management

I post things about life n' stuff here, come check it out!

@amber_hawken

Last night one if my clients said she didn’t wan

Last night one if my clients said she didn’t want to *calm* or smooth over her feelings, she felt agitated by the idea of becoming calm in the face of them because she was determined to *work through it*. What a beautiful bloody statement, I thought. I had just taken my alchemy clients through a breathing practice that regulates the nervous system, calms the mind and balances our hormones. If you do this in a triggered state you’ll go from a 10 to a 2/3 pretty fast so I can see the logic of her statement. I assured her we aren’t here to bypass, and that when we breathe in this way, we are able to drop into presence and actually connect to without fusing with our mind and emotions. And this allows us to open doors from the inside into what’s rising in us and the balanced nervous system allows us to be with, feel and embrace what we find rather than react to the feeling and thoughts. While there are times where expression of the raw emotions is both healthy and transformational, most of the time we are already in a secondary or tertiary loop of deflection/repression/resistance to emotions and the minds content is a blind mess. I wanted to share this interaction as it was quite profound for me to realise that returning to presence in order to feel the depth and rawness of our heart/pain or simply this moment can look like bypassing — it’s not. When done well and with intention to become more intimate with what we feel and who we are, you’ll find that all the best doors open from the inside.

There’s no place like home.

There’s no place like home.

This is a wide, nuanced, fluid and multi varied to

This is a wide, nuanced, fluid and multi varied topic. If you have questions or different perspectives, I invite them! I’m also certain there will be typos — no matter how many proof reads, I apparently only see them after I post. I’m releasing a full video later this week going over these variables. You’re welcome to join my spontaneous content newsletter to receive it (my bio has the links etc). Happy hump day 😍

Drama is a habit that allows us to dissociate from

Drama is a habit that allows us to dissociate from pain that can otherwise be used as a portal for healing.

Retraining your mind and emotions how to respond to life is a step closer towards giving the power back to you.

It creates space in your mind for both curiosity and compassion for whatever your mind is attempting to protect with complaint

Break the cycles, mentally walk away and let the deeper healing naturally unfold in the void.

Thank you to @thejasminroom who wrote these words on her story yesterday. Plain and simple. This woman has been the supplier of gifts for my clients for five years now. She’s the creator of the masterpiece pillar candles you see in my stories and on retreat that so many of you ask about. Thank you for you wisdom, you glorious woman.

Sometimes it can feel like you’ve gone from the

Sometimes it can feel like you’ve gone from the jungle, with snakes that will eat you whole, into the desert of no mans land inside yourself *aching* with thirst for a drop of peace during a phase a healing or life lesson.

Sometimes it takes years, sometimes months and other times it’s minutes.

Whether it’s the grief of everything you thought your life would be or a sense of exhaustion verging on depression, you’re not alone and this too shall pass. But sometimes, it needs your help to do so. Mostly just moving aside and allowing.

If you’ve been doubting whether there’s space between the growth, or that you can handle what might feel like too much to feel, let this beautiful moment of sweet release after a massive process be a reminder for you. Surrender is an extraordinary phenomenon and it asks so much from us. And — you CAN do this, love.

Perhaps you’re doing an amber and trying to fix, rationalise or figure it all out.

We might not know each other but you can trust me on this mistake — that path doesn’t just keep you in the dessert, it turns up the heat.

The trick is to be willing to participate in healing and life’s dance with a curious mind and an open heart. It knows what it’s doing!!!!

As my teacher @kurtthemeditationmechanic says, “a snake doesn’t resist when it’s time to shed its skin”.

Let it unravel, and in your own manner of expression, you’ll see life reflect back to you the taste of joy that comes with letting it all unravel.

If you gotta’ pop, pop.
If you require rest, rest.
If you need to dance, then dance.
Give yourself what it needs to make the shift 💛

Photo cred @wildthing.photography
A rare capture of myself and facilitator @beanietompkins in a spot of pure joy and inspiration after supporting one of our people through an experience that had her eating an entire set of sushi enrolls for her lunchbox in three minutes at the end of the day. Integration sure can work up an appetite sometimes ☺️

The sparkle of *getting to the enlightened* top of

The sparkle of *getting to the enlightened* top of the imaginary mountain has us dressing up for the part, forgetting we’re not meant to ever really reach the finale.

The goal isn’t to arrive to a place, it’s to continuously be with what’s right here. A lot of suffering exists because we’re not willing to embrace what’s in front of us and within us.

The goal is what’s here.
It’s often nothing more extravagant than YOU with this moment.
Making the bed.
Brushing your teeth.
Wiping your tears.
Paying your bills.
Walking to the bus.
Paying attention to your breath.
Making love.
Allowing grief to move through you the way it needs.
Practicing saying no.
Practicing saying yes.
Letting this moment feel full.
Letting this moment feel empty.

We think that the point is to pass the test or fix the problems, but the truth is that things don't really get fixed.

They come together and they fall apart. Then they do it again. This is how it is.

The sense of wholeness we crave comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for sadness, for anger, for happiness, for ecstasy while not getting too bothered by the continuous shape shifting of life. When we let life play, we really begin to realise that *this* here and now is actually what life has in store for us.

So we do not need to pretend to be something or seek to make something of our life.

We are that something.
And this very raw, ordinary moment without anything added or subtracted away, is it.

Throw back to 2018 with @genghis_tuan
I’m excited to be filming content with @parlorcreators today. Any topics you’d like me to explore?

The family I got gifted after birth. Either side

The family I got gifted after birth.
Either side of me sit two of my greatest teachers and dear friends.

In a nutshell these humans taught me to move the way joy makes me move.

From getting me to sit still for 60 whole minutes to showing me gently how to open and stay open with grace in my step.

These two have shaped my world for the last 10 years.

I now get to sit with them, moving through groups of people coming home to see themselves more deeply.

The work we get to weave together astonishes me and despite being at it for this long now, feel so young in my journey as a *teacher*. So humbled to walk with such wisdom by my side.

So much so I look ahead sometimes and feel like despite hiking for a decade, I’m only at Basecamp.

I used to ring Beanie and Kurt (or both) every other week for years. Sometimes multiples times. I sat with Kurt for hours and hours — and hours — at a time.

I explored the different dimensions of the universe, of consciousness of Star people, of worlds we can see with our eyes, of medicines and rituals long forgotten.

I’d ask questions about the mind, ego, emotions, psychology, thoughts, shadow, soul, pain, healing, meditation and energy until I ran out of questions.

Once I began to answer my own and gain more and more insight from inside, I started to practice alone. It weaved into my *professional* work until it all become what was present and needed not what was textbook.
Eventually I asked if they’d come along for the ride and now we pay it forward, together.

I enjoy the full view, big pictures AND the finer details. I learned more with these two and experience than Bachelor degrees in science and quals. in human behaviour.

This is a straight forward appreciation post to my teachers @beanietompkins and @kurtthemeditationmechanic for being the greatest earth guides ever.

Bloody stoked we get to crew together as our day job. This work is sweaty stuff as you can tell by our muggy grins and flushed faces.

Shot by @muri.nasraui at our last sovereign space ceremony.

P.S. I’m a little lax online lately. I sense a month off soon. I’m building stuff. Stuff that I require space to relax into and build with ease ✨

In all seriousness. Let me know which is your fav

In all seriousness. Let me know which is your fav 👇🏽❤️🥳

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