Have you ever held yourself to such high standards, that in retrospect, you were actually setting yourself up to fail before you even started? I have a story to tell you, a little lengthy and it ends in you receiving a lot more free epic life shaking content from me. Hold on in there.
I have set my standard far too high. And I recently managed to banish a massive belief that has been holding me back for some time (that I had no idea was affecting me and is potentially affecting you too).
You see, for years, I have been sucked into the loop hole of ’success’ requiring a #grind lifestyle. I would push myself to the point of exhaustion, without ever knowing every part of me was screaming to slow down.
In addition to the idolisation of “hustle”, my over determined nature is very dominant and has largely contributed to my lack of balance.
In a nut shell: I was dangerously believing: “If it’s not hard work (and you don’t struggle) and aren’t exhausted, then It’s not valuable or worth it”.
Now, if you follow me on Facebook, you would seen that I am currently journeying my way around Europe (you can check out my daily adventures on IG story). I took almost seven weeks off, to complete an advanced Hatha Yoga Teacher Training. Followed by a few more lazy ones, to integrate that into my erm..soul, so to speak. Ten weeks later, I am now at a point where I am full of beans and feeling more committed and connected to teaching and sharing, than ever before.
There is a but. I ran into a little problem. My typical way of “delivering value” in the conventional sense, involved directing and producing videos of BU, with professional videographers. I planned to film with my wicked camera, however my inner perfectionist kicked in and I kept avoiding something which I love to do so much, for I felt it wasn’t good enough.
To me, freedom is flexibility, open heartedness and most of all, being congruent with what you feel deep inside and how you live.
I finally realised that I am flowing—hopping between countries every few days, sharing rooms, questioning past values, eating strange food, living without routine and over all—exploring my emotional, mental, physical and spiritual worlds at a level that I had never done before. I’ve concluded: there is is no fucking way I could continue to create in such a regimented way.
Eight weeks into my trip, my urge to teach had reached combustion point, until finally I decided to just pick up my phone one day and throw up a live video.
Two light bulbs flicked following this spontaneous recording.
I began to question everything about creativity and value.
“Could it really be ‘easy’? Hmmm..”
I did a few more. Same result.
Okay. Pennies began dropping, my ego squirmed behind its armour of perfection and habits of working very very hard…
The nature of what I teach, is very tightly bound into how I live my life. Which meant, it was time to drop the “struggle = success”, bullshit and start having fun.
This is what’s gonna happen now – Doing life smarter, not harder. Every single decision I make will be in an effort to grow, develop and expand myself and business through flow – as opposed to push.
The only promise I am making right now, is that through my effort to honour this shift, I endeavour to become that happiest fucking camper, and thus deliver even better content through live videos as I travel the world.
IMPORTANT: this is a trial.
I still have my camera, and may experiment with a mix of the pre-recorded and FB-live.
This is scary as hell for me. Yep, I teach this “follow your soul” jazz constantly, but alas, I am human and this is a very big change. And with change, comes risk.
So my second intention is some of you who share the that virus of a belief I had, are also inspired, or at least curious, to try ‘smarter not harder’.
I figure that the biggest risk in life is not to take risks. Here is to no pressure whatsoever on performance or perfection. Let us give ourselves room to enjoy life, rest, be flexible expand and get to exactly where we were already going, just with a little more wrinkles at the corners of our eyes from laughing, rather than bags underneath them.
If you’d like to check out what I made, it’ll be online soon. And if you’re so inclined I’d love to know: how do you like this style? Which was your favourite out of the three I have shared and why?
Leave a comment below and let me know.
Loads of love,
P.S I still have one more spot open for private clients – I am moving at a snail pace these days and I am going to do some 30 minute life-overviews mid July. Click the here to find out more and book in a time to chat.