Stop Trying Avoid Loneliness | Amber Hawken | Dip. Mindfulness based CBT
I am going to talk about something that we all face but don’t want to talk about.
Loneliness. We all feel it and there is often two ways in which it affects us:
1. We don’t even realise we are afraid of it because we’re so damn strong and have a life that is so busy and ‘full’ that we have no space to be able to become aware of its presence.
2. It’s been something you have been running from for a long time and have attempted to fill that gap with work, relationships and other fun stimulating shiny objects that our western world has so readily available for us to smother uncomfortable emotions with.
Also, loneliness at its core is similar to the feeling of shame, failure and fear of rejection. They all stem from the core fear of not being enough.
Loneliness is a variant, but a variant that can wriggle its way into our psyche and drive behaviours and fears that fuel a feeling of lack inside.
Ever heard the advice, “you need to learn to be alone first?” or “you just need to love yourself”… to feel “whole”?
Yeh me too. And I wanted to punch those advice giving people in the face.
Let’s get down to something a little more practical, shall we?
In this weeks video, I guide you through a technique that I’ve used to help people not, ‘get rid’, of loneliness/emptiness/fear of rejection/abandonment/not being loved etc. but instead, connect with something much more fulfilling that Nextflix.
This technique helps re-wire your brain, nervous system (that is likely wired to run or band-aid) and release built up emotion.
It allows you to get a practical anchor point for self-connection which is often just a concept, not an embodied experience.
I’ve used this process with people who suffer from both severe and mild cases of mental stress and or emotional trauma including PTSD, depression and addiction. I also use it on myself when I feel a deep sense of longing, want, loneliness or a desire to run or distract myself from myself.
What I am saying is, it’s not just for deep ‘healing’, it can be used to cultivate a deep connection with ourselves and fill up from within.
I would love to hear from you: comment below with your experience with the technique.
Did you feel a shift? Were you able to open up and drop into a subtle feeling of love?
Loneliness is incredibly powerful if, and only if, we allow ourselves to explore it and drop in and connect with ourselves when we feel it and practice the art of a warrior.
Which is to open when we want to close.
PS! If you’re digging video, I have mini-episodes for you BUSY people on my Youtube channel. Subscribe for new uploads each week on all things being human. This one would be a good place to start: Find It Hard To Meditate?
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FEEL FREE: Cultivate the Skill of Emotional Regulation and Release
This practice is one of the most underestimated of all foundational practices when it comes to personal power because it teaches you that you can actually handle your own feelings. It will support you to cultivate the art of staying with rather than running from feeling and sensation. It's emotional black belt kinda’ stuff.
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you might very well be the most impressive and complete person I’ve ever been so honored to meet. Metaphorically or unfortunately not physically,verbally yet though linear expression lament a growing plethora of lauded comments. Allowing some latitude for both the assault on the queens language and obvious arousal. Damn superlative