Regardless of gender or identification, communication, openessness, honesty and vulnerability are the gateways the incredible connection, intimacy and sex.
I want to lean toward talking about men in this blog, despite this video being applicable to any relationship dynamic of any gender or person who identifies as non binary.
Why? Because it’s men who are traditionally taught that wounds, problems and emotions are something to be ashamed of and therefore why most of the struggle when it comes to deeper communication is that of the male partner.
Young boys pack their hurts in a lock box and throw away the key. They’re unable to feel what’s real for themselves or another and therefore a walking weapon that feels very little empathy or remorse.
Let that sink in. There is a scale of course.
From the deliberate manipulator to the covert narcissist and me nice guy to pacifies others emotions to avoid disappointment.
Both seek approval and power. Both deeply crave love. But nothing satiates him, because nothing can enter a closed door.
Aggression towards others or towards self protects a deep sense of sorrow that comes with cutting yourself off from your own love.
This is why many grown up men act like little boys. They’re unconsciously numb from the inside out yet their humanity makes them built for connection and their source energy drives them to seek freedom.
Imagine so desperately wanting to connect and be free at the same time, over full with feelings that are locked down long ago and disconnected from the rumblings of the heart.
It’s not hard to see why many men lack integrity with the world — they have no compass for integrity with themselves.
This is also why so many grown up many find it very difficult to take full responsibility for their life let alone the hurtful impact they’ve knowingly or not, had on others.
In this video I unpack a five step relationship dialogue that is a version by one of my mentors, Gordon Dickson of the infamous imago dialogue based on integral psychology and developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt in 1980.
It creates a container of safety, trust and openness. It may be difficult, messy, tedious and require time outs. If you stick it out, if you are willing to strip it all back, you will have a tool that will support you to gain clarity, healing and connection forever
This video is longer than most of my recent ones, and once you finish you will understand how incredibly powerful it is and why the extended take. The steps are outlined below in the images.
When you are moving into tender topics.
Do this twice per week and only ONE person per sitting. Do not switch on the same day, this is essential to give space.
I would love to know below, have you ever felt safe to express your deepest truths in a relationships? What would that meant to you.
If you intend to use this, please, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and let us know how you go.